I was listening to a piece on NPR about bullying. A subject that never is far with three boys in our home. Bullying in the schools is always present in some form. Even in the most peaceful settings, some child is the Alpha. I could understand the speaker's thoughts on : We see the second hit, not the first.
As parents, we react to the obvious and seldom have the time to balance the arguments and the actions. We enact deterrents, punishments yet probably don't accomplish much sometimes.
Sticks and Stones offers a parent view that may help educators get a new sense of renewal to guide them in the struggle .
STICKS AND STONES:DEFEATING THE CULTURE OF BULLYING AND REDISCOVERING THE POWER OF CHARACTER AND EMPATHY
About the Book
Being a teenager has never been easy, but in recent years, with the rise of the Internet and social media, it has become exponentially more challenging. Bullying, once thought of as the province of queen bees and goons, has taken on new, complex, and insidious forms, as parents and educators know all too well.
No writer is better poised to explore this territory than Emily Bazelon, who has established herself as a leading voice on the social and legal aspects of teenage drama. In Sticks and Stones, she brings readers on a deeply researched, clear-eyed journey into the ever-shifting landscape of teenage meanness and its sometimes devastating consequences. The result is an indispensable book that takes us from school cafeterias to courtrooms to the offices of Facebook, the website where so much teenage life, good and bad, now unfolds.
Along the way, Bazelon defines what bullying is and, just as important, what it is not. She explores when intervention is essential and when kids should be given the freedom to fend for themselves. She also dispels persistent myths: that girls bully more than boys, that online and in-person bullying are entirely distinct, that bullying is a common cause of suicide, and that harsh criminal penalties are an effective deterrent. Above all, she believes that to deal with the problem, we must first understand it.
Blending keen journalistic and narrative skills, Bazelon explores different facets of bullying through the stories of three young people who found themselves caught in the thick of it. Thirteen-year-old Monique endured months of harassment and exclusion before her mother finally pulled her out of school. Jacob was threatened and physically attacked over his sexuality in eighth grade—and then sued to protect himself and change the culture of his school. Flannery was one of six teens who faced criminal charges after a fellow student’s suicide was blamed on bullying and made international headlines. With grace and authority, Bazelon chronicles how these kids’ predicaments escalated, to no one’s benefit, into community-wide wars. Cutting through the noise, misinformation, and sensationalism, she takes us into schools that have succeeded in reducing bullying and examines their successful strategies. The result is a groundbreaking book that will help parents, educators, and teens themselves better understand what kids are going through today and what can be done to help them through it.
Emily Bazelon is a senior editor at Slate, a contributing writer at the New York Times Magazine, and the Truman Capote Fellow for Creative Writing and Law at Yale Law School. Before joining Slate, Bazelon was a Soros media fellow. She also worked as an editor and writer at Legal Affairs magazine and as a law clerk on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 1st Circuit. Her writing has appeared in the Atlantic, O Magazine, the Washington Post, and Mother Jones, among other publications. Bazelon is a graduate of Yale College and Yale Law School.
Bazelon was a finalist for the 2011 Michael Kelly Award, given by the Atlantic Media Company for journalism in “the fearless pursuit and expression of truth.” She was also a finalist for the 2011 Online Journalism Award from the Gannett Foundation for innovative investigative journalism.
SPEAKING
To learn more about Emily Bazelon's lectures and speaking Events. or emilybazelon@ gmail.com
Bullying and Blame in the Age of Facebook
Bullying has changed in the Internet era. Social networking and texting have given kids new opportunities to be mean to each other—just as a series of teen suicides have been blamed on bullying. Parents care deeply about understanding these developments: To do that, they need to know what’s important to pay attention to, and what’s misleading hype. The latest research shows how the Internet does—and doesn’t—pose problems for kids, and offers clues about how parents can help. Other work, along with the story of Phoebe Prince, offers important wisdom about teen suicide, both about the way cruelty from peers hurts vulnerable kids and about the danger of the oversimplified “bullying” narrative that often obscures important truth and complexity.
Let's Start Drama: Bullying and the Law
Courts are splitting over whether schools have the authority to discipline students for what they post online, even if it’s cruel and directed toward another student, because it is off-campus speech. And while 49 states now have laws that address bullying and harassment, online and off, they are far from uniform. Some states leave developing policies on bullying to individual school districts. Others direct schools to suspend and expel known bullies. Some tell schools to address online harassment; others leave that problem to the police. In this confusing landscape, what should schools and parents do? What about social network sites like Facebook—what kind of help in addressing online bullying should we ask of them?
Solutions for Schools
Though bullying has increasingly moved to the Internet, kids still torment each other in the hallways at school. In fact, in person and online bullying usually go together. How does the school environment influence the level of aggressive behavior in the classroom and on the playground? How can schools best combat bullying? Which programs have proven most effective? What are the obstacles to making them work? And what legal challenges do schools face based on recent state laws and court decisions?
Girls, Boys, and Gender Bending
How does bullying differ by gender, and in what ways does it especially impact gay kids? The type of bully who gets the most attention these days is the Mean Girl, but in truth boys still bully more often than girls. They tend to bully other boys and girls, whereas girls usually bully other girls. Which prevention techniques help most with boys, and which ones with girls? What should parents of either sex particularly look out for? Often issues of sexuality and, for boys, masculinity, come into play by middle school. This leaves LGBT and questioning kids particularly vulnerable. What are the best buffers for gay kids negotiating these boundaries, and how can schools and parents help them to help themselves?
